Needing to vent a bit!

So its been quite a bit since i have posted anything, and now seems like an absoulte great time to write a bit. So i have been super duper busy lately....i think my eye lids are being held up with tooth picks. The only thing i can think of is that God is really just testing me and seeing what i can handle without cracking. Several of my friends are having these same kinds of weeks also, so maybe he is testing us all right now. All in all, i have been working ALOT, and very hard too. I also just lossed my uncle last week, it was a very very hard situation.

My uncle was one of the funniest people that i knew, and its just a very tragic situation. He was battling an achohol addiction and i believe that he was also suffering from depression and didnt not want to admit it. Because of this i think he decided to take his life. It took our whole family by surprise because no one knew that he was feeling this way. However now we are piecing together signs that we wish we would have caught on to sooner so we could have gotten him some help. At first my heart was actually aching, and i felt completely empty. I was so unbelievably angry, hurt, sad, and scared even. I really wanted to just lash out at anyone just so i could take my anger out in some form. Instead of doing that i just kind of bottled it up inside instead. I was not able to go to his service due to my work schedule, fincaial situation, and I really dont think the situation is appropriate for Sydney. I dont want my distant family meeting Sydney for the first time at my uncles memorial while they are grieving. I just hope that my family knows they are in my thoughts, and heart. I really miss them so much. What makes this week so much harder is how busy i have been at work. I really wish that i could just spend more time with Sydney this week, but instead i have been working my butt off and havent been able to pick Sydney up until about 6 pm.
I miss her sooo much!!!!