Needing to vent a bit!

So its been quite a bit since i have posted anything, and now seems like an absoulte great time to write a bit. So i have been super duper busy lately....i think my eye lids are being held up with tooth picks. The only thing i can think of is that God is really just testing me and seeing what i can handle without cracking. Several of my friends are having these same kinds of weeks also, so maybe he is testing us all right now. All in all, i have been working ALOT, and very hard too. I also just lossed my uncle last week, it was a very very hard situation.

My uncle was one of the funniest people that i knew, and its just a very tragic situation. He was battling an achohol addiction and i believe that he was also suffering from depression and didnt not want to admit it. Because of this i think he decided to take his life. It took our whole family by surprise because no one knew that he was feeling this way. However now we are piecing together signs that we wish we would have caught on to sooner so we could have gotten him some help. At first my heart was actually aching, and i felt completely empty. I was so unbelievably angry, hurt, sad, and scared even. I really wanted to just lash out at anyone just so i could take my anger out in some form. Instead of doing that i just kind of bottled it up inside instead. I was not able to go to his service due to my work schedule, fincaial situation, and I really dont think the situation is appropriate for Sydney. I dont want my distant family meeting Sydney for the first time at my uncles memorial while they are grieving. I just hope that my family knows they are in my thoughts, and heart. I really miss them so much. What makes this week so much harder is how busy i have been at work. I really wish that i could just spend more time with Sydney this week, but instead i have been working my butt off and havent been able to pick Sydney up until about 6 pm.
I miss her sooo much!!!!

To dye for.....hopefully!?!

So its been probably the longest week in existance, so im pretty glad to get to relax finally this weekend. I actually dont have in plans for the first time in weeks, kind of a bummer, but the budget is tight soooo penny pinch we must. I did however spluge at Wal-mart earlier and picked up a box of hair dye and highlight kit, im pretty confident it should turn out good. I just feel like i need a little change to mix it up a bit, make me feel sassy. So i will now proceed with the first step of all over color, and tomorrow will be the cap, i would probably fall asleep with bleach on my hair if i tried to do it all tonight......Wish me luck!

Oh my geez!

So I'm currently on my lunch break, on my iPhone blogging. I'm am totally stoked about this too, how freakin badass is this phone!

Well Sydneys party went over great with a few hitches, but all in all it was great. She LOVED her cake, I mean she tore into that thing so hard she had icing in her bellybutton. I'm so glad that my friends got to come, we are very fortunate we have the friends and family we do, they are so unbelivably supportive of me, I don't think I could survive without them!

This week has been crazy because I have been in training for work all week and away from the office, I miss those girls, howevrr insane we all are, they keep me sane and constantly laughing too! All in all it been a crazy busy week, but I can't wait to get back in the normal groove next week with my kind of crazy people.
I

To My Sunshine!

So I'm really really excited because today is Sydneys 1st Birthday!!! I cant believe my baby girl has grown sooo much! Im really sappy today because i can't believe that a year ago today i was in the hospital going through labor. It was the happiest day of my life, and I am SO thrilled that she has been such a beacon of light in my life. She really has made me a much better person, and I cant imagine where I would be without her! I owe everything I have accomplished to her, she has been my inspriation! Sydney I love you SO much, and you truley are my sunshine!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Your my cuppycake....

Sooo this will be my inspiration for Sydney's cupcakes for her birthday party on Saturday. The party is decorated in pink and green with polka dots....all in all SUPER DUPER cute! The treat bags i made up for the party are really really cute also, but i cant put pics up yet, it could ruin the surprise. It may not be very Martha Stewart, but i think i did a pretty good job seeing as I'm not the crafty sister. Big ups to me.....I'm patting myself on the back. I will post TONS of pictures of the final results on the decorations.......I Can't believe this is Sydney's first birthday, this year has gone by SO fast! I think I'm tearing up.....

Soooo i just thought i would post one of THE most ADORABLE picutres of Syd that i have taken in a while.... This picture captures her happy go lucky personality. It just makes me smile soooo big and my heart ache everytime i see it! Gah i love this girl!

I realized after i posted last night i realized i didnt explain what Sydneys part was in the recital on Friday. She will be a clown in the finale, and i will be helping her attempt to tumble....we both might take a tumble in the process. I will post a picture of the great costume my wonderful mother sewed for her!! Im super excited!

Awww i have a new puppy!!!

Sydney's First Cupcake!

OK...so not really....but Sydney sure does a great impression of one i believe. I don't exactly know when i heard this sound for the first time, but i really, really wish it was also the last. I guess she has learned this at daycare, along with the wonderful game...."pop mommy in the face repeatedly", but i really believe she is hitting a high C when she makes it. It is really uncanny how much she sounds like a puppy that has been shut out of its owners bedroom.....however i cant lock Sydney out of the bedroom...shrugs oh-well. I'm not quite sure how i can get her to stop this whining because i don't want her to be one of "those" children...that sounds bad, but its true. I have started trying to discipline the hitting by putting her in a 1 min timeout either in the crib or playpen....this destroys her world!!

In other news.....I'm super nervous about this Friday, really this weekend in general. First and foremost, i have a dance recital on Friday evening.....insert cheers and applause here! This however means i have dance practice Wednesday after work where i will also practice with Sydney for her finale skit (fingers crossed)! Thursday, dress rehearsal starting at 2-6, i might just pass out i believe. Finally the big Day...dum dum dummmmm.........Dance Recital at 6:30 pm & SYDNEY'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!! (sings happy birthday loudly here!!!)

So after this whole hectic schedule i then have to host Sydney's birthday party....omg this better turn out good because I'm broke because of it! Saturday morning i will roll out of bed at about 6 am to start the morning routine and baking the cupcakes for the party. I will then instruct someone to go gather the balloons at Wilson 5 and dime or they can babysit....I'm hoping they go for babysitting. The deadline is to be at the park shelter no later than 3:15 to decorate. And my wonderful sister Cyndi is making the most adorable banner....what can i say, she's crafty!

Goodness Gracious i hope this doesn't drive me over the edge!